Think about how parents raise kids. They set rules and boundaries, not to control their children, but to protect them. The kids can follow those rules or ignore them. If they ignore them, there are consequences. Sometimes discipline. But the parents don’t stop loving them. And no one blames the parents just because they brought a child into the world who later made bad choices.
That’s the same relationship God has with us.
He created us and established boundaries to protect us. He gave us the freedom to follow him or not. He’ll sometimes use circumstances to get our attention and steer us back, but he doesn’t force our hand. And if the path we choose leads us away from him permanently, that’s not on God. He gave us the choice. We made it.
A lot of people feel like rejecting God means more freedom. No rules. No accountability. Do whatever you want. But that feeling of independence is an illusion. Walk that road long enough and you’ll find yourself enslaved to something: money, addiction, approval, anxiety, desire. That’s not freedom. Real freedom only comes when God is part of your life.
Our choices also have a compounding effect. Every time you choose to love someone, it gets a little easier, until love becomes less of a decision and more of who you are. The same is true going the other direction. Bitterness and hate, chosen repeatedly, reshape you from the inside. And the longer you keep rejecting God, the harder it becomes to turn back. The heart that keeps saying no eventually stops hearing the question.
1 Corinthians 10:23
“I am allowed to do anything” – but not everything is good for you. “I am allowed to do anything” – but not everything is beneficial.
Freedom Is Necessary to Love
Love can’t be forced. You already know this. You’ve probably felt it. You’ve wanted someone to love you, really love you, and it just wasn’t there. No matter what you did. Forced affection isn’t love. It’s performance at best, fear at worst.
God understood this when he created us. If he had wired us to love him automatically, it wouldn’t be love. It would be programming. So he gave us the freedom to choose. That’s what makes the relationship real.
But freedom cuts both ways. The greater the possibility of love being chosen, the greater the possibility of it being rejected. God knew that when he gave us free will. He chose to give it anyway because love that isn’t freely chosen isn’t love at all.
Your Future Is Not Set in Stone
There’s a version of Christianity that says everything is already decided, that God has a fixed script and we’re just following it. But the Bible tells a different story.
God asks people questions throughout Scripture. He responds to their choices. He changes course based on what they do. That’s not what you’d expect from someone running a predetermined plan where every event is locked in ahead of time.
When King Saul repeatedly disobeyed God, God expressed genuine regret over making him king. When Moses interceded for the Israelites after they built a golden calf and God threatened to destroy them, Moses pushed back and God relented. When nations turned from evil after being warned of judgment, God held back the disaster he had planned. These aren’t edge cases. They’re a pattern.
1 Samuel 15:11
“I am sorry that I ever made Saul king, for he has not been loyal to me and has refused to obey my command.’ Samuel was so deeply moved when he heard this that he cried out to the Lord all night.
While there are some things that are predestined and totally in God’s control (like the events surrounding the return of Christ), he does allow us the free will to control the events of our own lives.